Parody NYYRC Exhausted Eagle Premium Crew Neck

Features

Regular fit
100% organic cotton
Preshrunk to minimize shrinkage
Made with sustainably grown cotton
No herbicides or pesticides used

Benefits

Made for people who believe in freedom. Proceeds will be used to counteract the six million dollar lawsuit waged by the NYYRC. No delusions that we will be able to raise the full six million, hopefully we'll hit 270,000 in sales.

Sizing Note:

Any size above a regular Large carries a $1,000 “Obesity Surcharge” for every additional X.

This is not only because larger sizes require more material, and this historically has not been reflected in clothing price points before, but it is also an intentional cost barrier. Good-looking, high-quality merchandise at an accessible price point does not benefit the brand when worn by the obese.

Disclaimer

This item, including the garment, graphic, photos, mockups, title, and description, is independent political parody, satire, and commentary. It is not official merchandise and is not affiliated with, sponsored by, endorsed by, or authorized by any organization, club, campaign, PAC, committee, candidate, officeholder, public figure, donor list, or fragile institution pulled into the joke.

Any politicians or public figures shown or referenced are satirical models only. They are fictionalized, exaggerated, younger, hotter, better lit, and dressed in higher fashion than reality has recently managed to provide. No one depicted has modeled, worn, approved, endorsed, or authorized this product.

Good design plays with the symbols, faces, slogans, and cultural weather people already recognize. Sometimes parody is simply better than reality, especially when printed on premium organic materials. No rights are claimed in any third-party names, marks, logos, seals, slogans, or likenesses. Any lawsuit pretending to be confused by an obvious joke may be filed under “emotional dilution” and “urgent need for a hobby.”